You'd think that Hef would get tired of playing with bunnies. Fortunately for the pharmaceutical industry, he doesn't. Fortunately for us, he believes in the Constitution. .

The First Amendment Awards was the raison d'etre for the 25th Anniversary bash at Chelsea Piers in New York co-sponsored by The Creative Coalition who, by the way, will be teaming up with Congressional Quarterly at the conventions.

The two most significant awards went to Bill Maher, host of HBO's Real Time, for speaking out at a time when Americans were being encouraged to abandon the Bill of Rights in exchange for false comfort of "national security"; and Molly Ivins, who received the Lifetime Achievement Award, for keeping the First Amendment alive through her energy and humor while informing the public of erosions to freedom.

Receiving an award is where the similarities ended. Mahers' personal charisma does not match his stage presence which was magical, intellectually brilliant, clever and witty. Guess it doesn't matter though, the charisma thing, he wasn't' running for Mr. Congeniality. Good golly Ms. Molly though reconfirmed why she is one of the nation's wittiest and best-known political pundits, regaling the guests with her Texas humor and aplomb both on stage and off. Ivins, best-selling author and widely syndicated political columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, says politics, particularly in Texas, is great entertainment "better than the zoo, better than the circus, rougher than football, and even more aesthetically satisfying than baseball."

Some of the heavy hitting RNC guests seemed visibly uncomfortable in this atmosphere. However, ABC's conservative radio talk show host Monica Crowley took it all in stride enjoying the banter with Maher who claimed that the definition of a conservative is someone who ties 9/11 to everything. He quickly went on to say, "I would be your fool any way." and "Let's just run up to (?) and do it." Some of the more high brow jokes executed by MC and Sex and The City Star Matthew Bodine fell flat, especially a John Ashcroft reference to "babies on a pitchfork". Not going there. Fortunately for me, since the writer was at my table, I did get it (pays to read all the news that's fit to print).

The party didn't end there, but across town at the trendy meatpacking district's Spice Market. Within thirty minutes our after gala host splurged on champagne and spring rolls, left for the men's room and never returned. After striking out with us, he tried the waitress and was promptly removed from the premises. No problem there except that he left in my brand new green Chanel sunglasses. Okay, they were knockoffs, but very good knockoffs and I want them back. Poised to appear on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in July, they'd better run my name under the credits if he's wearing them.