Slug Fest!
The circus arrived in Washington this month in the form of a
baseball steroid scandal.
The game's top celebrity players were subpoenaed to testify
at Congressional hearings dubbed "Restoring Faith in
America's Pastime: Evaluating Major League Baseball's
efforts to Eradicate Steroid Use".
The last time I went to a baseball game was with my father.
We loaded up on popcorn, hot dogs, cokes and other assorted
high carb snacks, had fun and gained weight.
There was nothing fun about what took place on Capitol Hill
this week........but not for the reasons you might think.
The impetus for the hearings gained momentum from Jose
Canseco's February publication of
"Juiced"
coupled with the tragic death of several teenagers from
steroid use.
So who's juiced?
"According to Canseco's authoritative account, more than you
think. And baseball will never be the same........Canseco
shattered the mold of the out-of-shape baseball player and
ushered in a new era of super athletes who looked like
bodybuilders, made outrageous salaries, and enjoyed
rock-star lifestyles. And the ticket for this ride?
Steroids." Amazon
His colleagues, protecting their own interests and images,
evaded answering the questions posed by law makers by taking
the "semi fifth" and we don't mean vodka.
What is shocking to me is neither that the hearings took
place nor that the players protected themselves, but the
public perception that athletes are heroes..... therein lays
the rub.
Yes, some many players come from poverty and pull
themselves, but so do may ordinary people who are not making
millions.
Hoping this doesn't come off like a lecture from
Bill O'Reilly,
let me recount by way of example a tragic incident that took
place in Washington in January of 1983. An Air Florida
jetliner crashed into the Potomac River leaving few
survivors and those were due to an act of heroism from a
passenger that repeatedly passed up the lifesaving rope from
a helicopter to save his fellow passengers until he slipped
beneath the ice and drowned. Every day, "unforeseen tragic
circumstances provide opportunities for ordinary people to
become heroes", as witnessed more recently by acts of
courage during 9/11. We
should never lose sight of what defines a hero nor should we
use the word lightly.
It's not every day you get to save a life, but once a year
that's exactly what CNN Talkmeister Larry King does
via The Larry King Cardiac Foundation's annual gala.
"It's become a family business." quipped Larry King, Jr.,
one of the many burgeoning King offspring in attendance.
MC Martin Short may have been funny in another life,
but not this one: "Larry King was fired by The Donald,
but the one that should be fired is the auctioneer." Hmmm?
The Peter Max portrait fetched something like
$25,000. "Larry King looks so boyish; I thought it was
K.D. Lange." "Michael Jackson wants to face his
accuser face to face, but forgot to bring his." Ok, that was
a good one. "Larry has done over 40,000 interviews, has been
48 years in broadcasting and had 48 distinct hair colors."
"Larry King to Eleanor Roosevelt: What about the ugly
rumors you abhor men?" "Larry will never need a facelift as
long as he keeps his suspenders on." "So many great
broadcasters are saying goodbye: Dan Rather, Tom
Brokaw & Armstrong Williams." Ok, worth a
chuckle, but you get the picture.
The King himself was funnier. Recounting his 1987 ordeal
when he was admitted Georgetown Hospital, he remembers it
this way. "Mr. King, you're having a heart attack." "Will I
live?, asked King. "Good question", replied the doc. "Mr.
King, the Shah of Iran stayed in this room." "I
reflected a moment and realized the Shah had died." "The
doctor was Wayne from Texas, who wore a ten gallon hat, but
when I looked down at his hand, he has no right thumb. Now
when I meet someone, I count their fingers. I still have
this weird feeling and nightmares."
Country singing sensation Tim McGraw stepped up to
the plate as his famous baseball player father Tug McGraw
once did. "We're not going to talk a lot; we're just
going to play some music." And, that he did along with his 8
piece band. "It's good for the heart." "This makes 15 years
I've been on the road making a living and would like to
thank my manger Mike who is in the audience. He listened to
the tape and cut a record deal right away." Smart guy.
The evening raised more than a million dollars.
Photo by Neshan Naltchayan. Shawn King, Tim McGraw and Larry
King.
No Fest!
Well, gotta go now. It's been a long night waiting for
Congressional hearings on the Schiavo case to wind down.
Quite frankly I'm afraid to sleep.....the government might
come knocking at my door, place me on a gurney and parade me
around Capitol Hill.
So that's all folks!
